Beyond the Nursery: Nursing with Confidence

www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/behrmann.html

by Barbara L. Behrmann, Ph. D.

Niesha, a young mother in Arizona, was nursing her three week-old son in the baby department of a large discount store when the manager politely asked her to nurse in the bathroom because there were male customers who were their with their wives.

Amy, enjoying a lunch out with her mother, discreetly nursed her daughter under her shirt. The waiter avoided eye contact with her and asked her mother, instead of her, for her lunch order.

Patti, a modest woman in Washington, used to nurse in public bathrooms. She would put a lot of toilet seat covers on the seat and nurse on the toilet completely dressed. This kind of judgment, however, is not universal. Originally from Jamaica, Opal compared nursing in the US to her experiences overseas: "I remember going to Mexico when Shola was a baby and sitting on the side of the road, nursing. I didn't cover my breast and nobody said anything to me. Nor did anyone say anything to me in Jamaica and St. Croix."

In a culture that encourages us to show cleavage but god forbid, our nipples, we typically try to be as discrete as possible. Ironically this means that the less visible we become and the more we hide the early work of mothering, the more approval we earn. We sling blankets over our shoulders, purchase special nursing tops, turn our backs to others, and ultimately try to disguise what we are doing. These, of course, may be good personal solutions, but they don't help us change the culture.

The challenge we face is to nurse discreetly, but not invisibly. This way, we not only meet out babies' all-important needs, but we also help each other; that is, the more others see mothers nursing publicly, the easier it will be for the next nursing mom.

Increase Your Confidence

Chances are, nobody will give you a hard time about nursing in public. But just in case, here are a few things to remember to boot your confidence.

You may start out feeling awkward and insecure, but over time you are likely to develop confidence and become more assertive.

This is what happened with Stephanie. A first-time mother in Pennsylvania, she practiced nursing discreetly in front of mirrors and her husband. "I wanted to go places and do things but was so nervous that someone might get a glimpse of my bra as I opened it or god forbid, a flash of skin," she recalls. Her attitude changed after a few weeks and she became resentful and angry. "I never intended to fully disrobe in the mall but I hated the fact that I couldn't focus on my daughter's needs - I had to focus on whether somebody might be seeing more than they should." Stephanie became increasingly defiant and after a few months would actually seek out places "That might ruffle a few feathers."

The law is on your side! In fact over 20 states have enacted legislation to clarify that women have the right to nurse in public without being accused of indecent exposure, lewd behavior or obscenity. : So...if anyone suggests you move to the bathroom to nurse, simply ask them if they'd like to eat their meal in a toilet stall and share with them this link: Http://www.lalecheleague.org/LawMain.html

Don't feel pressured to feed your baby expressed milk in a bottle. Not only is a pump less effective than a baby at removing milk form the breast, but lactation works on the principle of supply and demand. In some cases, pumping, instead of nursing, can diminish your milk supply. Besides, if you baby is nursing for comfort - or any other "non-nutritional" reason, he or she doesn't want a bottle when your warm body is right there!

If you're nurslings past the baby-in-arms stage, he or she won't care if you're at home or in a shopping mall. You may want to nurse ahead of time and eventually you may be able to explain to your child that there are places where it's ok to nurse and places where you have to wait. But again, know that you have the legal right to breastfeed. And international health organizations recommend nursing a child for at least two years. So if someone gives you a hard time, gently inform them that nurslings suckle for reasons beyond the milk. It calms them, comforts them, and meets their emotional needs. Humor may help. You can be pretty sure that by the time your child starts college he or she will be off the breast. In short, there is no reason to feel embarrassed for meeting your child's nutritional and emotional needs.

Generally, the more comfortable you are, the less likely others will challenge you. Remember the words of Nina, a first-time mother in upstate New York. "I love nursing in public and I don't put a ton of effort into hiding it," she admits. "I'm not saying breastfeeding should be about shock value, but I feel strongly about nursing and am proud of it. I don't look down, I don't feel embarrassed, and I look people right in the eye."

Remember, be discreet, but not invisible, confident but not aggressive. Use a blanket as a cover up, if you like, but if your baby won't tolerate warm flannel over his head, who can blame him? Remember that nursing in public not only meets your baby's needs, but does a public service.

NADA COMO MAMÁ, NADA COMO MAMAR

Click here to watch this wonderfully inspiring YouTube video made in Spain.

Literally, this translates to "Nothing like mommy, nothing like breastfeeding." What a beautiful video about breastfeeding! One doesn't necessarily need to understand Spanish to understand the message being sent. I love the nursing toddlers and insightful thoughts from fathers, too. Worth watching! Can't wait to share this with my Spanish speaking breastfeeding group.


Just in case, here's the translation:

"If I told you a new formula has been released that increases your baby's
defenses, would you give it to your baby?

If I told you we can have free nourishment for the first six months of your
baby's life, would you believe me?

If I told you a company has patented packaging that keeps food ready 24hrs a
day, keeping all its properties, would you buy it?

That formula exists. That food exists. That company exists.

Breastmilk is the best nourishment for your baby. It adapts to suit all your
baby's needs, increasing his/her immune system. And besides, it is free.

Nothing like mom. Nothing like breastfeeding."

False alarms that may cause some moms to worry that their milk supply is low:

False alarms that may cause some moms to worry that their milk supply is low:

1. Baby nurses often... Many babies have a strong need to suck or be in frequent contact with their mothers. If baby is nursing effectively, frequent nursing means that the baby is getting enough--not that there's a lack of milk.

2. Baby seems hungry an hour after or so after being fed... Human milk digests more quickly than formula and places less strain on a baby's immature digestive system, so the breastfed baby needs to be fed more frequently than the formula-fed baby.

3. The baby suddenly increases the frequency and/or length of his nursings... Babies who are very sleepy newborns often "wake up" at about 2-3 weeks of age and begin nursing more frequently. Babies also go through occasional growth spurts more often than usual to bring in more milk to meet their needs.

4. Fussy Babies... Many babies have a fussy period each day, often at about the same time of the day. Some babies are fussy much of the time. Fussiness can be caused by many things other than hunger, but often there is no discernible reason. Many moms are concerned that their babies are fussy because they aren't getting enough milk, but it's the quiet, calm, easygoing baby who is more likely to go longer between feedings, take in less milk and gain weight slowly.

5. The baby was weighed before and after a feeding... Then the mom is told her baby didn't get enough to eat. As mentioned previously, studies have shown that test weighing is not a reliable indicator of whether a baby has breastfed well, because **most** baby scales are not sensitive enough to record such a small change in weight accurately.

6. Baby takes a bottle after nursing... Many babies will suck on a bottle even when they are full, because they like to suck. This is not necessarily a sign that the baby did not get enough at the breast.

7. The Mother cannot express much milk... Milk expression is a learned skill and the amount of milk expressed will increase with practice and the mother's ability to let down her milk to the pump. Pumping effectiveness may also vary depending on the type of pump used, etc. The amount of milk expressed may be totally unrelated to her milk supply.

A to Z: 26 Reasons to Nurse Your Baby

A to Z: 26 Reasons to Nurse Your Baby

from www.llli.org (La Leche League)

• Amenorrhea
• Bonding
• Colostrum... the perfect first food
• Decreased risk of breast cancer
• Easy baby care
• Few allergies
• Good for the whole family
• Human milk is specially designed for human babies
• Immunities
• Jaw development
• Kids get lots of attention when the new baby is breastfed
• Laundry is a breeze
• Mental development
• Natural
• Oxytocin and prolactin
• Protection against many diseases
• Quick weight loss for mother
• Rest
• Saves money
• Traveling is easy
• Understanding the baby's needs
• Vitamins and minerals
• Working goes smoothly when the nursing relationship is maintained
• eXactly what baby needs
• You get to take care of your baby
• Zero waste

Only the Best Is Good Enough - Breastfeed!