How do I respond to and avoid criticism about breastfeeding?

A wonderful article called "Responding to Criticism" from La Leche League International magazine for families, NEW BEGINNINGS. The chart at the end of the article summarizes five methods for responding.

http://www.llli.org/FAQ/criticism.html

Your attitude and tone of voice can make a world of difference in how people accept your responses. The approaches and phrases listed below are helpful for dealing with criticism.
Review them and choose the ones that are most comfortable for you.

• Use "I" messages instead of "YOU" messages. (Rather than "You always criticize me" try "I really don't like to be criticized.")
• I'd like to discuss something. Is this a good time for you?
• I feel (angry, hurt, etc.) when...
• Having your support means so much to me.
• It's amazing how much research has been done over the years. It must surprise you to see me doing _______. I hope I'll be able to handle it well when Abbey starts her own family.
• Everyone has to make the decision they feel is best for their situation.
• I'm glad that you care so much about the baby. I've thoroughly researched the topic and feel comfortable with my decision. I'd be glad to share my info with you.
• I realize that this is an individual decision, and I'd really appreciate your giving me a chance at this.
• My doctor has stated...
• The American Academy of Pediatrics feels...
• That gives me a lot to think about!
• Your love and concern for the baby really shows.
• That's certainly another way of approaching it.
• I'm glad that ___________ worked well for you and your baby.
• We're really at odds here. Let's just agree to disagree and still stay friends, OK?
• I think we're losing sight of our goal here, which is the baby's well-being. Let's back up a little.
• This is a topic that has been debated and argued for generations. Let's not fall into that trap, OK?
• There are some valid points to both sides here.
• You could be right.
• I'd like some time to think about what you just said.
• Let's remember that we're both on the same side here.
• Can we save the arguments for truly vital topics?
• It's a very individual decision, and I'd never try to impose my viewpoints on someone else.
• Maybe the topic of _______ should go along with religion and politics: Not a good conversation topic for us.
• Discussing __________ can really get me worked up. I'm sorry if I said anything out of line. Let's change the subject.
• How about a compromise? You don't mention __________and I won't criticize your driving anymore.
• We're Abbey's parents and this is the decision we've made.
• You feel very strongly about this, I can see.
• This works for our family in our situation, but it might not work for you.
• Just Smile. :-)
  

Ways To Prevent Criticism:

1. Be discreet if at all possible.
2. Don't set yourself up for a discussion you don't really want to have.
3. Avoid issues where you anticipate disagreement. Focus instead on areas where you have something in common.
4. Offer an explanation of why you do things before you are asked. Do this in a gentle way, letting them know how happy you and the baby are. Be sure you give them permission to do things differently. (See #6 & 29 above)
5. Appear confident and happy with the way you do things, even if you are not. Don't express doubts to people who don't agree with you.

Finally:

Rise above criticism as much as you can without a "holier than thou" attitude. A positive non-threatening reply works best. In rising above criticism, making light of things often works.
Sometimes it's best to ignore the criticism and consider the source. People often feel defensive and attack when someone is doing things differently.

If you know you will be in a situation where your actions will be criticized, prepare ahead of time by practicing some of these responses. Create your own as needed. Practicing the responses you prefer in front of a mirror or with an understanding friend, will help you to be more confident.

When you are in the situation, pause a moment and take a deep, relaxing breath before answering.

Iron Levels of the Breastfed Baby

So, my little pumpkin is now 2 years old and she didn't really start eating solids until she was about 14 mos or so... (all the while being in the 99th percentile in height & weight). There was a little bit of worry since I knew she might fall short in the iron department and become anemic. A hemoglobin test showed this to be true...


As most know, iron levels for the exclusively breastfed baby, who was born healthy and full-term, are generally in great shape those first 6 mos (generally breastfed babies do fine the 1st nine mos). Foods high in iron are generallyrecommended (before iron supplements) at this age since iron in foods are better absorbed into their little bodies, etc. I like to also cook as much food in my iron skillets (seasoned from years of use by my mom!) and combine iron rich foods with Vitamin C foods:

* spaghetti with meat and tomato sauce
* meat and potatoes
* chicken fajitas with broccoli, sweet pepper, and tomatoes
* hamburger and coleslaw
* nitrate-free hot dogs and orange juice
* fruit, iron-fortified cereal, and raisins
* fresh fruit with raisins

For more info:

(A thorough description on anemia...)
http://askdrsears.com/html/4/t043100.asp#T043106
"PUMPING UP YOUR IRON"

www.llli.org/FAQ/firstfoods.html
"First foods for babies"

http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/iron.html
"Is Iron-Supplementation Necessary?"


Some additional info on solids from the AAP:

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;115/2/496*

"Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.

* Complementary foods rich in iron should be introduced gradually beginning around 6 months of age. Preterm and low birth weight infants and infants with hematologic disorders or infants who had inadequate iron stores at birth generally require iron supplementation before 6 months of age. Iron may be administered while continuing exclusive breastfeeding.

* Unique needs or feeding behaviors of individual infants may indicate a need for introduction of complementary foods as early as 4 months of age, whereas other infants may not be ready to accept other foods until approximately 8 months of age.

* Introduction of complementary feedings before 6 months of age generally does not increase total caloric intake or rate of growth and only substitutes foods that lack the protective components of human milk.

* During the first 6 months of age, even in hot climates, water and juice are unnecessary for breastfed infants and may introduce contaminants or allergens.

* Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother, especially in delaying return of fertility (thereby promoting optimal intervals between births).

* There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of lifeor longer.

* Infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk but should receive iron-fortified infant formula.


So, here's a recipe I found that is quite yummy (below)... If you try it out, let us know what you think (and what your baby/toddler think!).


"Coconut-Apple Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients:

* 1 apple, peeled, cored and chopped
* 1/2 C. sweet potato, peeled and chopped
* 1/2 T. dried coconut
* water as needed

Instructions: Place the chopped sweet potato pieces in a steamer over boiling water. After 5 minutes, add the chopped apples and steam until tender. Place potato and apple pieces into a food processor with coconut. Process until baby food consistency, adding water as necessary. Note: You can use a potato masher, fork, or baby food grinder to prepare this recipe, though the mixture won't be as smooth. This is also a great side dish for a toddler meal. Try using coconut milk instead of water for a creamier, more coconutty flavor.